Airline Madness

Today, I'm calling each airline to find the status and number of miles in my frequent flier accounts. I want first class.
While I'm at it, thought I'd give you the scoop on airline humor (well funny at least to me).

Delta--Wait is short, about a minute, for representative, but watch out the recorded ad for first class passengers that offers a "dirty martini." My goodness, who'd want to drink that, sounds like it's radioactive!

United--Wait is longer, recorded ad is muffled (gee I can't understand it! Get with it, United)

American Airlines--Wait was 3 minutes and they let me know that from the get-Tell you to go to AA.com, I can deal with that,but only if I'd had one million drinks over the past 5 years (AA is has a whole different meaning to me). What could that be?
Hint: I don't drink! Found out that there are no upgrades on partner airlines. Forget my first class dreams on Air Tahiti from LA to Paris over the holidays, it's just not gonna happen : ( Promotion that they inform you of; get a Citi Advantage card and you get 20,000 free miles. Gee what's the little print got to say about that?

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